I like big butts and I cannot lie.

Of course, it’s easy to want a little “junk in the trunk” when you don’t have any.

But it gets better- guess where they’re sold.

No, really. Guess.

Correct answer: the subway station.

If I shake my head any more, I just might end up on your dashboard.


August 24, 2010. Tags: , , , . fashion, korea. 1 comment.

No need to call PETA, it’s just Korea

Koreans love their dogs.

Although, it’s true the older generation still loves to eat them. They’re the primary ingredient in Bosintang, or dog soup. Apparently the protein’s supposed to be beneficial in helping Koreans overcome the summer heat. It’s also believed to give men a little extra stamina in the bedrooms. Or the brothels. Prostitution is alive and well over here and very, very prevalent.

But I digress.

My generation, along with half of my parents’ generation, is anti-dog soup because they’re the perfect accessory a la Paris Hilton and the craze to tote around five pound dogs in your purse. Koreans also love to dye them. Yes, dye them.

Reason #453890 why I love Korea

If I had a tail, I’d dye it pink, too.

August 21, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.


or, Ferm Wednesday for those of you who’ll get the reference.

Yesterday was day two of my metamorphosis into an (educated) alcoholic. We began the process of making makgeolli, Korean rice wine. 

First, we washed the rice and stuck it in a blender, transforming it into a fine white powder.

We calculated our ratios, measured our ingredients,

and added boiling water until it formed a paper mache- like goo.

Then we added yeast

and dumped the unappealing mess into a plastic jug. Let the fermentation process begin.

Look what I made, mom!

And walked through a monsoon to get there. If you look close enough, you can see my name written in Korean.

Makgeolli really is nothing more than rice, water, and that crumbled up wheat block I made last class (called nurook in Korean). I spent the entire class waiting for the catch– you know, the excuse as to why I’d never be able to make this at home. I haven’t found it yet, other than I’m not Korean and it’s not whiskey. In fact, it just might be a good way to utilize some of the 20 pounds of rice collecting dust in my kitchen cabinent. If only it could be made with jalopenos.

And the best part? Our makgeolli sampler was served with a side of biology lectures- anaerobic respiration, enzymes, and CO2. Music to my ears.

August 19, 2010. Tags: , , , , . food, korea, rice. 1 comment.

Korean Moonshine

Last week, I found an advertisement for a first ever “Learn how to make Korean liquor” class IN ENGLISH! Somehow relates to making things in the kitchen? Check. Cool way to learn culture? Check. English? A very important check. So i registered.

It’s a four class program offered by an organization affiliated with Kyonggi University, one of the billion universities in Seoul. The class size was an intimate six- one girl from the Korean press, two Korean-Americans, and two foreigners that have done a remarkable job assimilating into Korean culture (one by marrying a Korean and the other by teaching at a university for 10 years). So that English translator they provided? Poor girl had to stand in front of the class just for me.

The first class began with samples of four different types of Korean liquor, noting such factors as taste, color, and smell.

From left to right, hahyangju, jipseonghyang, gwahaju, and cheonggamju

I swear, this really is an educational class. And fascinating, too. The four liquors shown above fall into a category of alcohol known as gayangju, or liquor brewed at home. All homemade Korean liquor consists of three different ingredients- water, yeast, and rice (of course). Each liquor we sampled had a distinct flavor, a variable of how the rice was prepared (Hahyangju uses rice cakes; jipseonghyang grinds the rice and adds water to form a batter of sorts; gwahaju is created with a rice porridge; and cheonggamju soaks rice in water for three hours until all of the liquid has been absorbed.). Our teacher detailed the traditional liquors made for each month of the year, many of which celebrate seasonal changes by incorporating fauna into the mix- Azaleas for spring, Chrysanthemums for fall…

What’s really interesting though is the resurgence in making traditional alcohol within the past twenty years or so. It was common knowledge in the “olden days” but is now a lost art due to the Japanese occupation in the early 1900s and later, the Korean War. For 36 years, Japan committed cultural genocide, destroying landmark monuments and temples, rewriting traditional songs, and burning Korean history books. When cultural practices were no longer banned, the Korean war began and rice was needed to eat as food. The knowledge of liquor making subsequently skipped a generation and could not be passed down. The liquors made today are new recipes of an old skill.

After our lecture, we set about making wheat blocks to harvest yeast. We mixed small amounts of water into ground wheat until it formed a sticky texture.

Then we packed the wheat mix into square molds

and stepped on it to give it a nice foot flavor.

Just kidding. We covered it in newspaper first. Yummm, ink. We’re trying to compact the wheat into a dense block so that it doesn’t crack when it dries out.

The finished product. The dent’s supposed to be there. It helps even out the drying process.

Apparently it takes about a month for the blocks to fully dry (I guess we’ll be getting our yeast from pre-made blocks). They’re kept at a temperature range of 30-35 C (85-95 F) for a week followed by a week of room temperatures. After that, they’re safe to leave outside, unless of course it’s monsoon season.

August 18, 2010. Tags: , , , . culture, korea, rice. 1 comment.

The pseudo arrival of fall

I like apples.

A lot.

Certain friends would call this an understatement. I used to average about three a day during high stress seasons and usually had a few in my purse or backpack to share with others.   What can I say? I told you I liked apples.

For the past four months, I’ve settled for the only variety of apples available in Korea- a large pink globe of crunchy water. It’s been a tough adjustment, one that’s left me trying to figure out ways for Mary to smuggle some good ol’ Granny Smiths through customs in September. For the record, she’s refused.

Lucky for her, I can retire from campaigning. I returned home from Bali to a mound of green apples gloriously displayed front and center in the produce section at my local grocer.  Words cannot describe  my excitement or the ecstasy of my fellow foreigners. The topic has dominated our conversations, text messages, and Facebook statuses. It was only natural that we allowed our minds to wander to the topic of apple pies.

Yesterday, Natalie, Lauren, Emily, and I gathered together for an afternoon of wine and pie making as we attempted to make an apple pie from scratch using a toaster oven.

The finished product.

Natalie and the toaster oven

The verdict?

맛있 었어

It was delicious.

August 15, 2010. Tags: , , . food, korea. 1 comment.

No more teachers, No more books.

Hello, my friends and family. I apologize for the blog neglect but never fear, I’m back, anxious and eager to provide you with glimpses of my new life.

Summer vacation officially begins on Tuesday. Unlike America, this is not an end of the year celebration and I will not be returning to new classes of charming little fifth and sixth graders. The Korean school system begins around March. The first term ends around mid-July for six weeks and picks back up again for a winter semester at the beginning of September. It’s a bit fuzzy after that. I believe January is a month of winter vacation. The students return to school in February for 16 days and then receive a week off for spring break before beginning a new school year around March 1st. I mentioned it before in my teaching post but once again, the dates are approximate because each school determines its own calendar. I have a few friends in the area who begin summer vacation today (lucky ducks).

Needless to say, I’m ready for a break. My kids are driving me crazy. My co-teacher is driving me crazy. The curriculum is driving me crazy. Maybe I’m just going crazy. Which could be true. Here are a couple of video clips I’m forced to make my students watch and worse yet, ask them questions about.

Yes, children, this is how we clap in America.

I like holding green onions like a sword, too.

Call me old fashioned but I tend to wait until the second date to ask about the room-especially if the Australian sounds like an American.

I bet you wouldn’t be too surprised to learn that the English curriculum was developed entirely by Koreans. It was never even proof-read by foreigners. Lord have mercy, if only you could see the teacher’s manual. No wonder they have to fly inexperienced native speakers to assist in the classrooms.

July 16, 2010. Uncategorized. 2 comments.

If only I had a penny for every wrong I’ve made in Korea… Committing faux pas #6398545.

I got in trouble at school today. It appears that I have offended the Korean moms. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to recover- this is serious business.

The day began like any other. I show up to my classroom fashionably late and commence my morning routine of turning on the electrical equipment, opening windows, and preparing for first period. My co-teacher enters the classroom and we exchange our obligatory script-like formalities. I recite my new Korean sentences I memorized the previous night and she responds by detailing the responsibilities of a crossing guard in broken English.

Confusion is an understatement.

Five minutes later, she’s still going on about crossing guards and I’m still trying to figure out why. She grabs a marker and starts drawing pictures on the dry erase board to further illustrate her explanations. Apparently, I’m missing the point. No kidding. I finally tell her we have crossing guards that do the same thing in the United States, too, but in neon instead of high heels.  She’s baffled.

And then the truth comes out. Apparently a couple of Korean moms TEXTED the principal and told him I didn’t understand the crosswalk system, that I must wait until the crossing guard (aka Korean mom) blows her whistle before I can transverse the narrow one way alley and enter my school.

I kindly explained that I always mind the crossing guards in the presence of children but that as a 25 years old (Korean age), I am fully capable of  walking the 10 feet to the entrance of my school without a whistle and a flag.

My principal brought it up again at lunch. I will now wait for the whistle and apologize to the mothers.

I wish they taught this stuff in college.

June 30, 2010. Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Happy Anniversary, Mimi and Gramps!

Today (June 24th), my grandparents will celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary. 60 years. Wow. Isn’t that incredible?! Family from across the US will be reuniting to honor this joyous occasion. Although my body remains in Korea, my heart will be in Georgia for the weekend.

As an added bonus, today is also my grandmother’s 39th birthday. I don’t know how she manages to stay that young but maybe one day she’ll teach me her anti-aging tricks- or at least the ones that don’t involve Loreal #9. Happy Birthday, Mimi!

Look at those love birds. Aren’t they so cute?

Happy Anniversary, M & G. I love you. I miss you. I wish I was there to celebrate. Congratulations!

June 24, 2010. Uncategorized. 1 comment.


How about a bottle of DMZ? Because there’s nothing more refreshing than a good dose of conflict.

June 23, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

These are a few of my favorite things.

and yes dad, there were samples.

June 3, 2010. Tags: , , , . Uncategorized. 2 comments.

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